There is a sound I have heard late at night when the cobwebs are pulsating and the werewolves are munching. It is a dull, painful, deafening silence. It vibrates through my ears like the silent noise a wild boar makes as it eats its own young and is silent about it. It is awful.
It is the shared pain of would-be comic book lovers everywhere who simply don’t know where to turn for guidance. “Where do I start reading?” they wail. And no one answers their collective cries. And the wailing echoes ever onwards.
But it is time someone put a wailing on this wailing, despite the fact that whaling is wrong and cruel when done in violation of U.S. naval regulations. It is time that would-be comic book lovers cried “Where do I start?” and a deep, rugged, manly voice boomed back “YOU START HERE!!!”
The booming voice is mine and the future generation of comic lovers are my children. I will hold them and nurture them until they may one day walk out into the world of popular comic book blogs and their casual spoilers. But until that day I will feed them the milk of previous essential comics straight from the experience of my muscular man breasts. This milk is delicious my children.
At Odin’s Thunderbolts, there is milk enough to go around. May the lactose intolerant always suffer!!!
(Contact OTB at firstname.lastname@example.org)